Murphy's law strikes again. What can go wrong will. My home computer is down and my school computer blocks blogs. I am forced to depend on the graciousness of my friends. I guess that's what friends are for.
I want to describe the behavior of two more of my boys. Michi is a large boy for his age and he is the man of his household. His mother depends on him to help her with his siblings and to translate for her. Michi is a dominant presence in the classroom. He is not loud, but he makes his presence known. He is often solemn and can be blatantly disrespectful. He often walks away when being spoken to and when he doesn't want to hear what you have to say. He often interrupts you when he does not agree with what you have to say. He will walk up to you and invade your space to show that he is not afraid. His behavior exemplifies that of a person struggling with masculinity development. The interesting thing about him is that he will often silently cry when he is angry and can not express himself. He gets into major trouble outside of the classroom and is verbally abusive to female authority figures. However, he reigns himself in when dealing with me.
Davon is also the man of his household. He has the air of entitlement and walks around as if he is the king of the hill. He ignores authority and is sexually aggressive and gets into trouble for touching girls inappropriately or making vulgar remarks. He only does the assignments that interest him and will not do anything he does not want to do. He can be extremely volatile when he does not get his way. He does not listen to his mother and usually dictates to her what he will or will not do. Unfortunately, his mother is acquiescent. Though Davon's behavior seems extreme compared to the other boys' behavior, he also exhibits the character traits of a person dealing with masculine identity. The idea of masculine identity is not new. What I have discovered is that it is becoming more prevalent in the elementary grades. This development has traditionally taken place when a boy reaches adolescence at 13 or 14 years old. Like many changes that have begun to occur in our society, the characteristics of masculine developement are being seen more and more in our grade school boys.
My goal is to present a way in which teachers can accomodate this development without removing the child from the classoom or dispersing harsh discipline. I would also like to develop strategies that will help teachers help the boys gracefully transit into their manhood.
6 comments:
I think it is interesting that these two boys are considered to be the "men of the house". I have often heard parents refer to that and cringe. When I divorced my boys' father, they did not become the men of the household- I became the "only" adult. Our society exposes children to such mature concepts which they are little prepared to handle, especially the notion of "man of the house". I have seen this as an excuse for the parent to not be as strong as they need to be, and have to say the ugly word "no" more often than they wish.
At our charter school, we are a 5-8 grade span. It has been wonderful to see these kids not feel they have to act so grown up, and still be kids. The 8th grade boys play tetherball, kickball etc. We offer a wide variety of electives- from golf to scrapbooking and knitting- some of our "toughest" boys take knitting- you should see the difference in their behavior- it seems as though it is OK not to have to act so tough. At our traditional middle school in town, we have more drugs and violence- they don't have the opportunity to still "play". We don't have dances which saves us a lot of grief, but we have Jr. Explorers, recycling, art, drama, yearbook and a newspaper. Having more interesting outlets for both genders to participate in, helps neutralize some of the gender issues and social issues the kids deal with. Part of it has to be they have some interesting opportunities that cross the stereotypical gender barriers, and allow them to look at different opportunities than what society and even their homes offer.
Susan, you make an excellent point about the pressures put on males at a young age in single parent households, and Monica has described so well the resulting behavior. The lack of strong boundaries, male role models and rights of passage for young men has contributed to this behavioral shift that we are seeing in the schools. Monica, you describe two of you male students so well. I can see many of those same traits reflected in my male fourth graders. I have been working hard at developing strong relationships with these students, by finding time to talk with them individually inside and outside of the classroom. I will be interested to read about the results of your inquiry into this important topic.
I had the saddest encounter today with one of my "fragile" boys. "Danny" is very loud and has never done his work, and he is in 8th grade. He has done every assignment this year, and I am so proud of him, he has a miserable home life. His mother has had 9 children and she has been in jail, involved with all kinds of men, and at one point wasn't raising any of her kids- her parents were. Yesterday David's brother was arrested for meth, his sister is pregnant, and his great grandma who lives with them is dying. "Danny" was a wreck today. I talked to him after class and reinforced how proud I was of him and his choices- but he is on the edge- and there is nothing we can do to change to his home environment. I know that you too deal with this type of child and home situation- my heart goes out to him and those who have situations like his- I am sooo frustrated. I will continue to give him what I can, and pray that he is strong- he literally doesn't go out of the house because he knows that trouble is just lurking- waiting for him- suggestions?
You said that these masculine identity behaviors are becoming more prevelant in elementary schools. Have you learned this through observation or through reviewing the literature? Or both? I'm curious to know why. If I remember correctly, you taught fourth grade, but your descriptions seem like those of a much older child. Sexually aggressive behaviors at that age should be rare, right? What do you think is going on?
Susan you are correct in your assessment of the way our society pushes young children into becoming what they are not ready for. One of the ways to defuse this detrimental exhibit of hegemonic masculinity development is to lessen the tension between the genders by meshing traditonal gender activities-allowing and promoting all activiies. Knitting, football playing, scrapbooking, basketball, video games. This creates what you call a nuetral environment that is not overly affected by traditonal gender behaviors.
Shawna, yes I teach fourth grade. I have found that the development of masculinity is happening earlier through observation and research. What I have noticed is that children learn gender and roles as early as the age 3. What I am finding is that our society is perpetuating and promoting sexuallity at every turn. Boys and girls are developing much faster than they did even eight years ago. Yesterday, I found out that two of my students have kissed. I can not believe that 9 year olds are interested in kissing, yet I know it to be true because I am seeing the behaviors and hearing conversations that, in my eyes, are totally inappropriate for such young children. Sexual harassment and bullying are two exhibits of hegemonic masculinity development.
Post a Comment